Bottom line is we want our kids safe, respectful of themselves and others, and happy (in that order). But how does a clever nanny reach these goals? Very easily,
1.
Follow Through
The children you babysit will never (I repeat *NEVER*) do what you say or respect you without follow through. You must follow through.
Say you tell Billy "You go in time-out for saying bathroom words.", and moments later you hear Billy talking all manner of filth. You walk up to him and say "Hey, what did I just say? No bathroom words." and then walk away, Billy just learned a valuable lesson and that's "Nanny doesn't always mean time-out when she says time-out." Now you're in trouble. Bathroom words will still be an issue because Billy knows he may just get a talking to, and no real punishment will come down.
If you don't follow through with the rules you set up you're teaching the children that they don't have to take you at your word, and trust me, they won't.
Similarly, never threaten to do anything you won't or can't do.
"Billy if you ride your bike on your neighbor's lawn one more time I'm going to take your bike and throw it in the garbage! You hear me!?" <-- Not gonna fly. You can't throw his bike away. You know that, he knows that, it's just ridiculous. It's a threat you can't follow through on and all it will achieve is more misery for you.
A much more logical threat would be, if Billy abuses it he looses it for the rest of the day. He throws a toy it goes on top of the fridge (Or hidden under the sofa, if Billy happens to be a climber). If Billy rides his bike without a helmet, or through the neighbor's garden, he is off his bike for the rest of the day. "And if I have to come out there and get you, you'll be off it tomorrow too."
§ I was babysitting two kids that I had to wake up and get ready for school. The little girl never wanted to get up. She would pretend to be asleep and it took me 20 minutes just to get her out of bed and dressed. One day I walked in her room, turned on the light, made sure I knew she was awake, and said "Get up, get dressed, and come down stairs. I'm not coming back in here so you gotta get ready by yourself." I got her brother up and ready and then got him breakfast. Once he was buckled in the car I went back up to the little girl. She hadn't moved. I over emphasized the urgency in my voice and said "What are you doing? You're not ready yet? Your brother is already in the car. We gotta go!" She jumped out of bed, knowing she had overslept. She was dressed and in the car in less than 2 minutes. The next day I walked in her room and did the same thing only this time she got up immediately. From then on she got up and got dressed by herself.
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